Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Early Scribbles

Was sifting through my childhood yesterday and found these. If you don't like them then please forgive the ramblings of a child.

STARS
-----

S-Stars look bright
T-Tonight all lit
A-Among the planets, like fireflies
R-Rebel against that bad old moon
S-Shining up there, so high

- Sushil, Age: 8


A SOLITARY CANDLE
-----------------

The lights of a thousand lamps,
brighten the streets of Misri.
Crackers burst and dancing girls,
bring Diwali to the city.

Admist the pomp and show,
one house holds silent.
As a family sheds tears of woe,
in memory of a parent.

The mother kisses her husband once,
before he is put to fire.
The son is made ready,
to light his father's pyre.

The daughter of the dead stands far,
from the funeral procession.
And bids loving farewell,
to her most prized possession.

As they carry him away,
amid the lights and laughter.
The little girl weeps
as the celebrations mock her father.

This insult,
is too much for her to handle.
So she follows him, in her hand
A solitary candle.

- Sushil, Age: 12

Sunday, June 19, 2005

The Latest Entertainment Breakthrough - BOOK

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device,trade-named - BOOK. BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology; no wires, no electronic circuits, no batteries,nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere - even sitting in an armchair by the fire or under an umbrella at the beach - yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-R disc.

Here's how it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder (or spine) which maintains the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT)allows manufacturers to use both sides of each page, thus doubling information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for future increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. However, experiments with different types of Formulaic Optical Nuanced Technology Systems (FONTS) have led to promising results.

Each BOOK sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into the users brain A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. Moving about within the BOOK data file is just as easy. The "browse" feature allows users to move instantly to any sheet, both forward and backward. Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected material for instant retrieval. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it. BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee or other liquids are spilled on it and it may become unusable if dropped too often onto hard surfaces.

A Manually Accessed Retrieval Knickknack (MARK) allows users to open BOOK to the exact place they left off in a previous session - even if BOOK has been closed. These peripheral devices fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKMARK can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKMARKs can be used in a single book, provided the user desires to save numerous views within the device. Users can also make personal notes next to and within BOOK text entries with optional programming tools such as Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment and educational wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Lovers at the beach

Crystal blue mirrors
Shatter on the shore

Amidst its shards
Sitting in droves

Hidden by the rocks
And above the roar

They coo, they cuddle
Their inhibitions muddle

Blinded by passion
Blind to the world

They huddle together
Like blind men

Groping



In memory of all the desperate, lovesick couples at Scandal Point-Breach Candy, Carter Road, Bandstand and beaches everywhere.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Very Cumbersome!!!

Dined at this restaurant last night. Lovely ambience. Soft music. Candlelight. Delicious aroma's wafting in from the kitchen. All in all, very appetizing. I wasn't in an exceptionally ravenous mood so decided to order a chicken soup with onion leeks'and a roast beef sandwich.

The soup was just right, a heavenly balance of flavour. Such being the case, i eagerly looked foward to the next course. Arrive ze 'Roast Beef Sandwich'. Ahh!!! A visual masterpiece! Adorned in a bed of lettuce and crowned with exquisitely carved radish, lay my roast beef sandwich. The meat had a delightful hue. The toasted bread - perfect isosceles triangles. With a sigh of contentment i took a bite of the art in my hands.

Augh! Gross! Revolting! (ok, not what i was expecting)

I open my sandwich in search of the culprit and there hidden under my precious roast beef it lies. The insolent cucumber!

I rage, i growl, i swear and i call for the chef. Sheer self-control stops my hand from knocking the poof off his head. From between clenched teeth, I demand a explanation. "Why in the name of God, did you put cucumber in my sandwich?",i ask.

"Cucumber???", he replies innocently. I point viciously at the accused gourd. Realisation dawns on his feature. "Oh! the pickle!", he exclaims.

My jaw drops. I am truly stumped! I look for some confirmation that i am indeed speaking to the chef of this horrendous restaurant. My eyes move down to his lapel which bears the title of master chief! I stare aghast.

Is this a farce, a prank, a jest??? Surely, a master chef would know the difference between a cucumber and a pickle. Being April Fool's, i look waringly around for a hidden camera. But i find none.

"This is a cucumber!", i roar. "No, it's a pickle", says the chef defiantly. "It's only a pickle if you dip it in brine", say I. This pauses the culinary criminal. "Oh", he mutters.

--The last straw.

I pay for the soup and storm out of the establishment.

Currently, I am in the process of contacting the Al-Quaida requesting them to spare me an ICBM. Then i shall subsequently paint it cucumber green and drop it on the restraunt of that ignorant chef.

My war cry: "Pickle this, B*tch!!!"

Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Wright Stuff!

I met a multi-millionaire the other day. I asked him how he made his fortune. He said he designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ...

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of a Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.

I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down...I just have to fill in the rest.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.

They say you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. I wanted to know what I had, so I got rid of everything.

When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Last time I went to the movies I was thrown out for bringing my own food. My argument was that the movie stand prices are outrageous. Besides, I haven't had a barbecue in a long time.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Observations of a mall rat

Ever stood still in a mall?

If you truly want to feel your presence in the universe, don't bother with yoga, don't waste your time on meditation, just go and stand still in a mall. The realisation is immediate. It might leave you with a sense of insignificance but don't let that trouble you. The people around you don't notice you because they are so caught up with 'being' in a mall.
The only people who do watch you are the mannequins with their faceless stares. They watch as we scurry up and down satisfying our consumerist appetites. They watch while we literally take the clothes of their back. Do they judge us i wonder? Maybe that is why we constantly keep moving. Constantly keep 'being'. Perhaps, we are afraid that if we stand still we will judge others, or worse, be judged.

So that's why they call us human beings. Hmm... :-)

Sunday, February 06, 2005

It happened on a Sunday

Ever felt that in one moment everything has changed. Everything around you. Your way of life. You would be hard pressed when asked what has changed because you really don't know. But you feel it and you know it needs you to change as well. To adapt. To be part of it.

That happened to me today.

Tomorrow should be very interesting.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Follow the Dog

My best buddy Dogz aka Ameet D'silva is on the beaten path again. After leaving his paw prints all over Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has now taken it upon himself to roam the length and breadth of India and this time he is maintaining a log or should i say blog.

Check it out for an unusual look at the land of milk and honey. If nothing else it should be worth a laugh...

www.discoveri.blogspot.com

Enjoy!